Single #6: Janice Steinberg

Meet Janice

Gender: Female

Age: 29... happy birthday ;)

Body type: P!nk meets Pete Wentz meets... Israel.

Best Asset: Well if I don't count Starlette over here, then I guess that would be my offshore bank accounts. My teeth are nice too. I've got some nice teeth. What? That's an asset, am I right? It can't be liquidated, but you know... they're my teeth. You know I don't appreciate you looking at me like I'm Meshugeneh, over here.

Seeking: A nice Jewish boy.

About Janice

I couldn't help but ask Janice why a young beautiful lady like herself, with so much to offer, would limit her dating pool by religion? "Typical. That's such a goyim thing to ask" She huffed. Seeking clarification, I asked what barbaric language the term "goyim" derives from, she answered: "You know what? I'm not here to give you a history lesson. And don't ask for a geneology lesson either." After being accused of antisemitism, I figured it was time to change the subject.

Janice is a gem of a woman. She's independent, wealthy, smart and best of all: "I am adamant about placing the cap back on the toothpaste. What good is a hardened blob of toothpaste at the top of the tube?" A rhetorical question, I presume. But this attention to detail seems to characterize much of Janice's life. Everything from her cd collection to 8 years worth of grocery lists, from her stuffed animals (she is a retired beenie baby collector) to her phone conversations (time rounded up to the nearest minute with detailed notes on subject matter), are recorded and catalogued in excel spreadsheets. "They date back to when I was 18. I had a cute little party last year to celebrate the 10th anneversary of my database. Nothing too fancy, you know? Just a nice glass of wine with some appetizers. I like hosting these things. You know? What the French call a soirée." Janice later reminded me that I should italicize words from languages other than English in this article. "I know what you're thinking - control freak! Right? Well, only when it comes to grammar, hun. It only takes two seconds to make the effort and double check - do I really mean 'there' or do I actually mean THEY RRRE - as in 'they are'? Am I right?"

Janice is not a demanding romantic partner. She much perfers the kind of (Jewish) man that allots her some breathing room. "I need ma' spay-ce" She yelps, snapping her fingers while drawing a "z" shape in the air. "That was my imitation of a black woman." Racist gestures aside, Janice seeks a man who is willing to step-up to the modern woman's needs and in return, she will let the reigns loose: "You can sleep with other women, sure. As long as I can too." When asked to clarify whether this was some sort of metaphor, Janice went to answer a business call on her cell phone that did not ring.